Saturday, July 14, 2018

Only Dead on the Inside | James Breakwell


A collection of survival tips as well as do's and don'ts for being a parent in the zombie apocalypse. 


I laughed so friggin' hard at this book I'm sure I got looks while I was reading it on the bus. But I didn't notice because I was laughing too hard. I've already bought a copy of this for my Mom! Yes, some of the jokes rely on sitcom family stereotypes (the "inept dad" stereotype being the predominant one). And yes, I don't have any kids myself. However, the humor of there is so much humor based in truth. Anyone who's spent any time with any kids knows the truth of the dangers of a temper tantrum!

My favorite part about this book is how it covers so many things that other zombie lore glosses over. The idea that disposable diapers will be a new form of currency rings very true. Plus, how many other zombie stories talk about how children are just inherently good at finding dangerous things? "It takes skill to make an inert wooden crib spontaneously burst into flames, but if anyone can do it, it's a six-month-old." That's why there are so many warning labels on toys. That's why being a parent in the zombie apocalypse is so dangerous for all parties!

But the book doesn't spend the whole time complaining. There's actually some good advice in here. Like how most guidebooks would tell you to remove a staircase and use a retractable ladder to keep the second floor zombie free. Breakwell reminds you that carrying a baby, plus loot, means you're not climbing up that ladder. He also talks about how escaping from zombies, with your family intact, is more about situational awareness than actual speed. Then there's the chapter on punishments where he talks about punishment only being effective if the kid understands why they're in trouble.

Some of the best parts of this book are about using your children to your advantage. Using their natural talent to create messes to make your house an obstacle course for zombie or looter. Using their smaller size to help you loot more places (not to mention their enthusiasm at getting to take home whatever they want). They also come with some very useful accessories, like strollers and toys that can be used as weapons. Like a mini-van that can still play DVDs even after the house has lost power. 

I absolutely loved this book. I shared some lines with my Mom and she wanted a copy. There are cartoons, charts and other visuals and the book is short so it's easy to stay engaged the entire time. I happily give 5 hoots!